Don’t begrudge a sister the right to define her own sexuality


I saw a post this morning on FB in which the author took issue with someone for the comment, “I’m straight, with bi-tendencies.”  It bothered me so much that I decided to blog about it.  I’ve spent thirty years of my life having people begrudge my right to define my own sexuality, and ultimately whom I’m allowed to love.  Among the things I’ve learned along the way is to be true to myself, and not ever be anything less than proud of being a one hundred percent woman loving woman.  I don’t begrudge others the same experience, especially when it’s not the same as mine.  The truth is that sexuality and love are sometimes complicated.  Human beings are complicated.  Where a person falls in that knotty continuum of sexuality is for them to know and for the rest of us to accept.   Sure, there may be negative reasons that drive a person to define herself one way or the other, but at the end of the day, the definition is hers alone.  Maybe if we spent less time judging others, we might find a whole lot more happiness and contentment in our own hearts.  Plus, wouldn’t it be so much easier for people to figure these things out without all the negative chatter flying at them?

So, to the person who defines herself as “straight with bi-tendencies,” good for you.  At least you’ve thought about it enough to recognize your own complexity as a human being.   Peace.


17 thoughts on “Don’t begrudge a sister the right to define her own sexuality

  1. You have made an articulate, kind, and well prepared response to a common harangue. More love and tolerance, less hate and vitriol.
    Welcome to the Blog-verse!

  2. First of all, Ms Prescott, I “took issue” with nothing. What I was highlighting was the ambiguity of the statement, which I found laughable, and which was made clear. I “implied” nothing. You posted my response to the comment out of context, and then leapt upon your soapbox, when it was hardly necessary.

    Second, if you knew me (which you do not), you would know that I am neither judgmental nor unsupportive of anyone’s claim of sexuality or identity. Shame on you for implying that I am.

    Finally, this is not an invitation to open a dialogue with you. You chose not to do so with me when you had the chance. I am certainly not interested in doing so with you. Have a good day.

    • Now that you’ve called yourself out, I think it’s important to be clear, in fairness to you, what you said. In essence, you said that saying one is straight with bi tendencies is like saying one is a little bit pregnant. I interpreted that as taking issue with the statement. In keeping with my blog, I’ll let reader’s interpret your words themselves. You have a good day too, and thanks for stopping by to comment.

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