I’m hers, and she’s mine.

This morning I read that the question of whether to allow same-sex couples to marry in Maryland would be on the ballot in November.  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/48792672/ns/politics-the_new_york_times/.  As a general matter, I don’t believe that the civil rights of any American should ever be up for a vote.  There’s that little matter of the “tyranny of the majority” that our system of government is supposed to guard against.  Unfortunately, our system of government doesn’t always work the way that it’s supposed to. In fact, this question is not only on the ballot in Maryland, but also my beloved state of Maine.  And, we all remember what happened in California with Prop 8.  Needless to say, I’m on pins and needles over it.  Next to my partner of 21 years, Maine is my other true love.  We hope to be able to retire there someday, but not until our marriage here in Massachusetts is recognized in Maine.  As much as we love Maine, we love each other more.  That’s why this blog is an appeal to those who hold that fate in their hands when they go to the ballot box in November.

Here’s what I’m asking them to do.  Peel back the layers of politics, religion and homophobia and think back to when they first fell in love.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  The first time I saw her, I couldn’t stop looking at her.  She was gorgeous, and had a sly smile that left me undone in a million good ways.  If she’d asked that first day we met, I would’ve told her anything she wanted to know.  Over the years, I have.  She makes me feel safe, happy, desired and loved beyond measure.  I’ll never forget the first time we hugged.  The skin of my cheek brushed hers and to this day I don’t remember ever feeling anything quite as soft, except for her kiss.

Anyone who has ever been in love knows the delicious depths of heaven experienced in that first kiss.   You know the one.  It’s the one that you don’t want to ever end.  It feels like the beginning of everything you’ll ever need or want.  Every cell of your body vibrates with the energy of connectedness to that person who was meant to be yours.  For me, I knew that I’d found the other piece of my soul in her.  All the feelings that welled inside me for her were the bridge that bound our hearts together.  She is my soul mate.  We’ve built a long beautiful life together despite the homophobic turmoil of our families and society that tried in vain to pull us apart.  The thing about true love though is that it can’t be broken.

We’ve weathered many storms together that have only brought us closer.  21 years later, I still ache for her when she’s away.  She still undoes me with her smile, and her kiss is the only one that I’ll ever want on my lips.  Regardless of what the world around us does with respect to the politics of same-sex marriage, I will take care of her until my last breath.  If there’s one thing I know for sure in this world it’s that she’ll do the same for me.  It sure would be a whole lot easier with all of the legal protections and benefits of marriage.  My hope is that when those who hold our fate go to the polls, they remember that this is about love and fairness, not politics and religion.  I ask them to imagine a world in which they’re denied the right to legally marry the person whose heart means more to them than anything in the world.  When one pulls back all of the layers to this issue, the nucleus is love.  Surely, fair minded souls can understand that and will do the right thing.  I hope.





28 thoughts on “I’m hers, and she’s mine.

  1. So well written…so many feelings come to surface…and so many memories as if they were yesterday. Wonderful blog!

  2. Bev that was absolutely well written and that is awesome about 21 years and going strong. Hold on to that love no matter what happens.

  3. Beautifully said. I’m thrilled for you and KC. Love is a cherished blessing and one you richly deserve. I hope your words resonate with everyone.

  4. Great piece, Bev. What a wonderful description of your love — your marriage. Let us hope and pray that people can clear out all the emotional fog being blown at them in Maryland, Maine and Washington and vote for the truly decent thing to do. And in places like here in Minnesota, may we not enshrine bigotry in our constitution. Congrats on 21 years for you and your beloved. We are at 22 and it seems like forever and just yesterday. Thanks for the blog piece!

    • Anita, congrats to you on 22 years. I like how you put that “it seems like forever and just yesterday.” So much history, yet so much still ahead. I wish you a lifetime of bliss with your partner. Best to you always, Bev.

      • Many thanks! Same to you and your partner, Bev. Having the history together makes for such a rich life and yet, we ain’t done yet. Thanks, again, for a great blog.

  5. What a beautifully poetic piece of writing ; )
    …thank you, Bev !
    and i couldn’t agree more…
    if we all take a chance and ask those who love us
    and care for us in our own lives
    to do this for us
    make it personal
    request this of them
    for those exact reasons you stated above
    maybe just maybe
    yours and my dream will come true ; )
    i am going to
    i am going to ask
    everyone i can
    to please do this for me
    as a gift
    instead of buying me a gift
    or even making me a gift
    give me this instead
    because this is what i honestly want
    and need this year

  6. Bev, you’ve written heartwarming poetic prose. Seldom do I tear up. Reading your blog, I had to wipe tears. It is beautiful. It’s this kind of writing that can change the world. Kieran

    • Thanks, Linda. You and Laurie definitely know what it feels like too. You two and your family of fur kids are a beautiful example. Have a great week and safe travels to MI.

  7. well written! and it is as you say — even after 17 years we still remember fondly that first kiss and cherish all that followed and hopefully will follow for many, many years. Fortunately we live in a country where we can be legal partners – it was a really scary time when my wife got very ill and we hadn’t yet the protection of the law on our side. And it is one of the things which lets me hesitate more and more to visit the US (alongside with Muslim countries). We have our eyes now set on Canada when thinking about North America where our partnership will be recognized. … And let me add as a European: the Third Reich should stand as an example what happens when you make minority rights pivotal in an election.

    • Congrats on your 17 years. I wish you both many many more too. I’m hoping that my country finally gets its act together on remembering that essential notion of equality for all. Have a great week and thanks for stopping by to weigh in. Take care.

  8. Bev, your wonderful words took me back…way back…34 years for us. Domestic partnership in California is as close as we came. We’re married in our hearts, but it would be nice to be able to at last be legally recognized by our state and country. We too love Maine, having lived there for 10 years so we are hopeful that those independent free-thinking Yankees will do the right thing. We live in Panama now and will only come back if DOMA is trashed. Until then, we are happy and still as in love as we were 34 years ago!

    • Hi Wen, congratulations on 34 years. I’m hoping too that those fair minded Yankees carry the day. Maybe someday we’ll be fellow Mainers if the federal government follows suit with the demise of DOMA. Thanks so much for stopping by to weigh in. Have a great week.

  9. Absolutely beautiful. I have lived the Army life from before DADT, through DADT and now after DADT. Now that that’s done, lets free up the states for marriage. Thank you for sharing your love for KC. It is so beautiful. Reading about it gives folks a feel for what “love” is.

  10. Your words are eloquent and the love that inspired them is a blessing for you both. I hope that the people going to the polls in November turn their backs on hate and recognize that love is love is love. And that our rights do not negate theirs.

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